"Come Home" or "You're Not Welcome Here"?

I've been thinking a lot about grace lately. I went to a conference at the end of last week and one of the speakers described grace as unmerited favor. Something we don't deserve and yet it is freely given to us through Christ. I think we talk about grace pretty regularly in church services, leader conferences, random conversations, etc. but I wonder how often we actually show grace.

On Monday I was asked to lead a Disciple Now this weekend for a leader who is not going to be able to lead. While I had to pull myself out of Disciple Now retirement, I said I would do it. Starting Friday night, I will be teaching a group of 11th and 12th grade girls about purity. Yeah...prayers are greatly appreciated! I think this is a very important topic that needs to be discussed, probably more so in the home than in the church, but I guess the church gets to do it since most parents don't. Anyway, not the point. As I was reading through lesson one, with grace in the back of my mind, I started wondering... What if one of my girls confesses this weekend that she has been sexually active outside of marriage? What if she does exactly what James 5:16 says, "Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed."? How will the others in my group respond? What if she goes even further and decides this is a sin she needs to confess in front of the church on Sunday morning? To be completely transparent to a group of people who talk about grace. How will she be received? With loving and open arms? By fellow believers ready to do whatever it takes to help her overcome this sin in her life and begin a life of purity? I know I can't even answer that because I don't know. I think there is sadness in not knowing the answer to that question, though. Sadness comes from knowing how the response should be, but at the same time knowing how the response probably will be. Grace, grace. God's grace. Grace that will pardon and cleanse within. Are we a church that just talks about grace or shows grace?

I was asked yesterday by the pastor of my church to tell him the most important thing that stuck out in my mind from the conference we attended. Just one? There are so many things that I learned and am still processing almost a week later. As I was looking through my notes, I stopped at a sentence spoken by Tim Ross that I put an arrow beside, drew a star next to, and underlined (I figured that was probably something pretty important). The sentence said, "Come see a Man who told me everything about myself and loves me anyway." This was taken from John 4, Jesus and the Samaritan Woman, posted below...

Now when Jesus learned that the Pharisees had heard that Jesus was making and baptizing more disciples than John (although Jesus himself did not baptize, but only his disciples), he left Judea and departed again for Galilee. And he had to pass through Samaria. So he came to a town of Samaria called Sychar, near the field that Jacob had given to his son Joseph. Jacob’s well was there; so Jesus, wearied as he was from his journey, was sitting beside the well. It was about the sixth hour.

A woman from Samaria came to draw water. Jesus said to her, "Give me a drink." (For his disciples had gone away into the city to buy food.) The Samaritan woman said to him, "How is it that you, a Jew, ask for a drink from me, a woman of Samaria?" (For Jews have no dealings with Samaritans.) Jesus answered her, "If you knew the gift of God, and who it is that is saying to you, 'Give me a drink,' you would have asked him, and he would have given you living water." The woman said to him, "Sir, you have nothing to draw water with, and the well is deep. Where do you get that living water? Are you greater than our father Jacob? He gave us the well and drank from it himself, as did his sons and his livestock." Jesus said to her, "Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life." The woman said to him, "Sir, give me this water, so that I will not be thirsty or have to come here to draw water."

Jesus said to her, "Go, call your husband, and come here." The woman answered him, "I have no husband." Jesus said to her, "You are right in saying, 'I have no husband'; for you have had five husbands, and the one you now have is not your husband. What you have said is true." The woman said to him, "Sir, I perceive that you are a prophet. Our fathers worshiped on this mountain, but you say that in Jerusalem is the place where people ought to worship." Jesus said to her, "Woman, believe me, the hour is coming when neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem will you worship the Father. You worship what you do not know; we worship what we know, for salvation is from the Jews. But the hour is coming, and is now here, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for the Father is seeking such people to worship him. God is spirit, and those who worship him must worship in spirit and truth." The woman said to him, "I know that Messiah is coming (he who is called Christ). When he comes, he will tell us all things." Jesus said to her, "I who speak to you am he."

Just then his disciples came back. They marveled that he was talking with a woman, but no one said, "What do you seek?" or "Why are you talking with her?" So the woman left her water jar and went away into town and said to the people, "Come, see a man who told me all that I ever did. Can this be the Christ?"

Based on her story, I have no doubt this woman had been judged, ridiculed, and was an outcast to many. However, on this day she met a man who said, "You know what, I know everything about you. I know that the man you are with is not your husband and that you have had 5 before this one. I know every detail of your life, but I love you. I value you. I want to shower you with my grace and cleanse you of your sins." (Kristine's version)

The title of this blog is "Come Home" or "You're Not Welcome Here"? What message are we, as a church, sending to the outside world? I believe that Jesus sent the message all through Scripture that you can always come home. That nothing can separate us from His love (Romans 8:38-39). That no matter where we've been, no matter what we've done He will always welcome us back. I fear that too often, however, we are sending the message that because of this act, these words, those sins you are not welcome here. That you have exceeded your limit and grace is no longer available for you.

It is my hope and prayer that we stop being a church made up of people who just talk about grace. Let's be a people who extend grace to each and every person we meet and help them understand that they can always come home!

Lead Beyond Our Walls - 2010 RightNow Conference

I'm leaving this evening to attend the RightNow Conference in Irving. I was first introduced to this conference last year by a friend who desperately wanted to attend. I don't typically get excited about something when I don't know what to expect. I've been to numerous conferences where a line of speakers get on stage and share their interpretation of the weekend's theme or what God has been doing in their lives and how that relates to why we are all sitting in a huge auditorium on a particular weekend. However, I knew this one was going to be different because of the speakers I would be hearing. Donald Miller. Matt Chandler. Francis Chan. I mean, who can't get excited about that? I was pumped! Anyway, in anticipation for this year's conference I have been watching some videos on YouTube from last year. We'll start with the promotional video for this year...

Mentally, emotionally, and spiritually preparing myself to be challenged, pushed, and made uncomfortable in the best possible way.

Lord, open my eyes to see and my ears to hear all that You have for me over the next two days...

Catalyst West 2010: Donald Miller

This is a video of Donald Miller at the Catalyst Conference this year. I've never been to Catalyst but they get all of the "all-stars" in one place for one conference. Man, what a party that must be! I'll go one day, but until then we have YouTube. Haha. I couldn't find a video from RightNow last year to post on here of him, but this one is outstanding. He asks the question, "What if?" and I think it's one we can all consider...

Matt Chandler - Power of the Resurrection - RightNow Conference

Matt Chandler, lead pastor of The Village Church in Flower Mound, speaks about the Power of the Resurrection. I can't get enough of Matt Chandler - check out his sermons online at fm.thevillagechurch.net, he'll blow your mind! Enjoy...

Francis Chan - The new middle road - RightNow Conference

And now Francis Chan, author of Crazy Love and Forgotten God (you should seriously read both!!)...

Wordless Frustration!

Have you ever been in a situation where you wanted to say something, but trying to take what was swirling around in your head and turn it into sentences that made sense coming out of your mouth was utterly impossible? Ahhhh...I just want to scream sometimes. I love writing. Some people used to tell me that I was good at it and I should consider writing a book. Ha ha ha. That's humorous to me now as I have had my blog open on my computer for two days and all I can think to write is how frustrated I have been at my inability to write. What's the deal?

Is it that I have nothing to say? Is it that my life is so uninteresting that I get bored with myself trying to type it out for others to read? Sometimes I feel as if I simply have nothing to offer anyone who might happen to stumble upon this page, take 2 minutes out of their day to read my mindless muttering, and then make a promise to themselves never to click on my link again. Maybe.

Perhaps it's that at one point in my life, back when xanga was the blog everyone thought was cool, I felt I had a story to tell. I believed that by sharing my life experiences someone else might understand, learn, or realize that they aren't the only ones dealing with the ups and downs of this crazy roller coaster we are all riding. Although there are many details missing between the xanga posts and now, I'd like to pick that story back up. Fast forward about 3 years...

I'm back in East Texas working at the fabulous institution that awarded me a Bachelor's Degree back in 2004, East Texas Baptist University. I am a recruiter in the Admissions Office, primarily dealing with transfer students from the Southeast region of Texas. It's a great job as it allows me to meet students from all over the state of Texas and beyond who are going through completely different stages of their lives. Some have never lived away from home, some are looking for a small Christian atmosphere in which to study, some have zero support from parents or family members, and others are wanting a fresh start - to make something of themselves. They all walk through my door, sit in my chairs, open up their lives to me, and I do my very best to listen and understand. There are times when I feel emotionally drained having to tell a student that based on this or that, we cannot admit them. Yet, there are times when I get to deliver the news that based on the ACT test they studied for and lost sleep over, they now meet our admission requirements and will be able to attend classes with us. Ups and downs. Mountains and valleys. Life.

In the midst of getting reacquainted with East Texas and all of the changes that have taken place since I've been gone, there are SO many in what used to be my little one red light town, God opened a door to something truly spectacular and beautiful. Cornerstone Fellowship. A new church plant with people that I love dearly as I love my own family. A place where I get to work with kids the way I've always dreamed. We launched September 5th of this year and sometimes I still can't believe it's actually real. From outstanding worship led by Jordan, Levi and Luke. To Carl bringing the word each week in a very raw and unapologetic manner. To my two beautiful regular attenders, Lexie and Kylee, walking through the door smiling and ready to learn about Jesus. I'm constantly in awe. God has shown up and shown off in so many ways since we started. He has taken the leadership of our church and chiseled away the crap that stood between us and Him so that we can be effective in His church. We don't require you to check your junk at the door. We encourage you to bring it in so that we, as a family of believers, can help you scrape it off and wash it away. We want to love as He loves. We want to serve as He serves. We want to go where He goes. We want to see as He sees. We want to shine as He shines. We want to be imitators of the One who knows it all, owns it all, gives it all, and opens His arms to all who will come.

Uncle Ben said it best, "With great power comes great responsibility." Sometimes I have to remind myself that I am worthless, powerless, useless apart from Christ. I must take whatever jobs and opportunities He gives me and do my very best to make much of Him. That's all that matters. We are called to make His name great as we are empowered by the Holy Spirit within us. He allows us to be a part of His master plan and with that comes a great deal of responsibility. What am I going to do with it? Waste it away? Pretend that it doesn't exist? Or lay aside all of me so that I can be consumed only with Him? Yeah, I think that sounds like the best plan!

Wordless frustration no more. At least for now...

"Love" ... What does it really mean?

Two weeks in West Africa. Crazy Love by Francis Chan. Matthew 25:31-46. "How He Loves" by David Crowder.

To say the items listed above have changed my life this year would be a huge understatement. Recently, I've tried to make sense of the word "love." I tried to explain this to my sister last night, but words failed me - as they typically do - and I was unable to express the millions of thoughts racing through my mind. So, I'm going to attempt this through writing and pray that the words do not fail me in this format.

How did two weeks in West Africa help me understand love? In January of this year, I was given the opportunity to travel to Niger, West Africa. I had no idea what to expect as I was packing my clothes and the food I would eat while I was there. I also had no idea how that trip would forever change my life. God knew. From the moment I stepped off the plane, I entered into a world I always knew existed but the smells, the noise, the disease, and the smiles on the kids' faces made it real for the first time. What does love look like in West Africa? The Womble family. Brad, Sally and their kids giving up their comfortable lives in America to travel to this place that lacked comfort, convenience, and all of the luxuries we take for granted. Why? Love.

Changing gears...

How did reading, and rereading, the book Crazy Love by Francis Chan help me understand love? This book helped me realize that I don't get the love about which he speaks because my view of love is so skewed by the world's definition. Our definition does not even come close to the "God is love" meaning written in 1 John 4:8. Francis Chan writes, "He [God] cannot be contained in this world, explained by our vocabulary, or grasped by our understanding." About love he writes, "This is the God we serve, the God who knew us before He made us. The God who promises to remain with us and rescue us. The God who LOVES us and longs for us to LOVE Him back." What? The God who created the universe longs for us to love Him? Why? Chan says, "Jesus doesn't have to love us. His being is utterly complete and perfect, apart from humanity. He doesn't need me or you. Yet He wants us, chooses us, even considers us His inheritance. (Ephesians 1:18). The greatest knowledge we can even have is knowing God treasures us." This next part made me stop reading and really think about my relationship with this God that I follow: "The irony is that while God doesn't need us but still wants us, we desperately need God, but don't really want Him most of the time." Yikes, right?! Keep reading. "He treasures (there's that word again that I just can't seem to wrap my mind around) us and anticipates our departure from this earth to be with Him - and we wonder, indifferently, how much we have to do for Him to get by." Ouch! "Are we in love with God or just his stuff?" How would you answer that question?

I'll get back to that...

How does Matthew 25:31-46 help me understand love?

When he finally arrives, blazing in beauty and all his angels with him, the Son of Man will take his place on his glorious throne. Then all the nations will be arranged before him and he will sort the people out, much as a shepherd sorts out sheep and goats, putting sheep to his right and goats to his left.

Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Enter, you who are blessed by my Father! Take what's coming to you in this kingdom. It's been ready for you since the world's foundation. And here's why: I was hungry and you fed me, I was thirsty and you gave me a drink, I was homeless and you gave me a room, I was shivering and you gave me clothes, I was sick and you stopped to visit, I was in prison and you came to me.'

Then those 'sheep' are going to say, 'Master, what are you talking about? When did we ever see you hungry and feed you, thirsty and give you a drink? And when did we ever see you sick or in prison and come to you?' Then the King will say, 'I'm telling the solemn truth: Whenever you did one of these things to someone overlooked or ignored, that was me—you did it to me.'

Then he will turn to the 'goats,' the ones on his left, and say, 'Get out, worthless goats! You're good for nothing but the fires of hell. And why? Because - I was hungry and you gave me no meal, I was thirsty and you gave me no drink, I was homeless and you gave me no bed, I was shivering and you gave me no clothes, Sick and in prison, and you never visited.'

Then those 'goats' are going to say, 'Master, what are you talking about? When did we ever see you hungry or thirsty or homeless or shivering or sick or in prison and didn't help?' He will answer them, 'I'm telling the solemn truth: Whenever you failed to do one of these things to someone who was being overlooked or ignored, that was me—you failed to do it to me.'

Then those 'goats' will be herded to their eternal doom, but the 'sheep' to their eternal reward.

This passage takes me to 1 John 4:7, "Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God."

The homeless man on the corner holding a cardboard sign. The woman selling her body on the streets and in the alleyways for food and clothing. The children entering a homeless shelter in need of a piece of bread and warm blanket. Sheep or goat? You decide. We show tangible love for God in how we care for the poor and those who are suffering. He expects us to treat the poor and the desperate as if they were Christ Himself.

I'll admit, this one is the hardest for me because in most cases it's me risking my comfort, my money, but ultimately my own life in order to help someone else. Is my life more important or more valuable than theirs? The Lord is really working on me in this area... Wherever He leads I'll go, right? I want so badly to be able to say "yes" in every instance I'm prompted to move, to go, to stand in the gap, to love.

How does "How He Loves" by David Crowder help me understand love? "He is jealous for me,..." Stop. It took me a while to get past the first phrase in this song. He, God, is jealous for me? ME? Doesn't He know me? Doesn't He know how selfish and undeserving I am? Yet, He is jealous for me. Blows my mind! Let's keep going...

Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realize just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.

And oh, how He loves us so,
Oh how He loves us,
How He loves us all

We are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,
If grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking.
And Heaven meets earth like an unforeseen kiss,
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest,
I don’t have time to maintain these regrets,
When I think about, the way…

Yeah, He loves us,
Oh! how He loves us,
Oh! how He loves us,
Oh! how He loves.

While the version most of us know is DCB's, the song was originally written by John Mark McMillan. I just recently discovered the story behind the song and feel it is fitting with my message here...

He [John Mark] had a youth minister he was close to and he’d been praying and praying for there to be a movement among the youth that he was leading. One morning, when they were meeting to pray he said, “I’d give my life for this if that’s what it takes to see a movement among these youth. Do whatever you need to do God.” That evening John Mark’s friend, Steven the youth pastor, died in a car wreck, and John Mark wrote the song in memory of his friend.

How does one look at such tragedy, where most people would claim that God must not love, and create a powerful song such as this? Our sole purpose on this earth is to bring glory to Him. The very breath we breathe is for Him. Again from Francis Chan, "But He [God] has overcome the world. So take heart, keep on, fight the good fight, pray continuously, and do not grow weary. There is NOTHING better than giving up EVERYTHING (even our very lives) and stepping into a passionate love relationship with God, the God of the universe, who made galaxies, leaves, laughter, and me and you." He is jealous for me...and true loves requires sacrifice.

Two weeks in West Africa. Crazy Love by Francis Chan. Matthew 25:31-46. "How He Loves" by David Crowder.

I can still see the faces of the kids I met along the Mehanna Road in West Africa. My heart hurts for them. In a very real way, I love them. Crazy Love has rocked my world in more ways than I can count simply because I do not love the way Christ has called me to love. Matthew 25:31-46 painfully reminds me that I very badly want to be a sheep but far too often, I am nothing but a goat. "How He Loves" tells me that there is a God, He is jealous for me, and His love is so big and powerful that it resembles a hurricane. Our goal as people who follow Christ should be no less than becoming people who are madly in love with God. That is my goal. I've also learned that I need God to help me love God...and love others.

"Jesus, I need to give myself up. I am not strong enough to love You and walk with You on my own. I can't do it and I need You. I need You deeply and desperately. I believe You are worth it, that You are better than anything else I could have in this life or the next. I want You. And when I don't, I want to want You. Be all in me. Take all of me. Have Your way with me. Amen."
-Francis Chan, Crazy Love